Heart of Valdemar
by haiiro
Summary: A young girl is attacked by changebeasts, losing her family and sending her into severe shock, risking her sanity. Can this poor, lost little girl cling to whats left of her mind until the Heralds reach her? Can they make Alsea one of them?
1. Introduction

Introductory:  
  
This is my first fanfic in ages, so be kind.. for the first few chapters or so. First of all… I havent read the most recent in the Valdemar books, so I may not be all that accurate with some of the things happening at this point in time. Many, many apologies for that. This is based 4 years after the Mage-Storm books, still in Selenay's reign.  
  
Anything else? I don't think so… The first chapter may be kinda confusing, but I will straighten everything out in chapter two, and I will do my best to keep them at LEAST 1000 words. 


	2. Chapter One: Emptiness

It was cold, bitterly cold and sure death to anyone who caught themselves in it. The wind howled and bodies riddled the ground, but not a drop of blood besides that of a single wounded man to show a brief struggle. Amidst the bodies a girl trembled, knees drawn up to her chest, blue eyes wide as she clenched the man's hand, white as marble and cold as death, to her, tears streaming down her pale cheeks.

The girl crooned to the body, her voice devoid of all sanity, "I'll guard you, Father," she whispered dully as she stroked the hand, rich raven curls tumbling down her shoulders, "I'll guard you." She reached out a small delicate finger to touch his cold cheek.

****

-FLASH-

They were surrounded on all sides by the beasts, it was useless to consider survival. The creatures mouths dripped with mingled blood and saliva, their claws outstretched and reaching, reaching for Alsea and her father.

The girl wept as her father stood and drew his sword, settling into a guard position to fend off the horrid beasts. "Alsea," he hissed, his voice low and soft with a calm that came before a warrior's death, "when I give the word you must run. Run as far as haven if you must just _do not look back."_

Alsea bobbed her head softly, unable to get a single word past the lump in her throat. One of the creatures reached for her, claws glinting in the moonlight.

With a shout the man shot forward, his sword a blur as he feinted at the beast. "Run Alsea!" he cried, his daughter never heard him. All Alsea saw, or heard, was the creature plunging one deadly claw into her father's chest. The man gurgled, and his sword dropped to the ground while the creatures hissed with a thirst for his blood.

Alsea's head jerked up and she let out a long haunting wail, her eyes suddenly blank, all understanding and sanity gone from her. A flash of pain surged through her, her back arching as she began to scream, palms raised to the sky. Another convulsion shot through her as the monsters hissed their nervousness and dislike, this had not been planned for. An unholy blue light glowed in Alsea's middle and soon shot outwards and all that could be heard was the beasts' final cry of pain, then blackness. 

****

-FLASH-

Alsea howled and leapt back from her father's corpse, her body trembling uncontrollably as she began to weep anew. Sanity slowly began to return to her but she wished it would not, all her memories could give her was pain and suffering, she'd had enough of that.

"No," she croaked, unable to speak without a quiver, "Father...." And the security of blackness returned to her.

****

-----------

Herald Dannyn smiled, tilting his head up to the sun, allowing it to warm him. A little shiver ran down his back as the sun dried his damp clothing and hair. "Ooh, Trev," he purred to his Companion, his hand filled with Treyvin's silvery mane. "Such a glorious day! I truly thought that I would never see the sun again."

Treyvin snorted and turned his head to gaze back at his Chosen with a glittering sapphire eye. _:Herald Lazybones!: _the Companion cried indignantly, whickering his amusement. _:You act as if you were tortured while you merely got a little damp!_ I _seemed to have attracted all the mud on this cursed road.:_ Treyvin shook Dannyn's hand out of his mane and turned his head to face one again at the never-ending road. The Herald could hear the mutterings coming from Treyvin's mind.

"Oh, Treyvin, care for some cheese with that whine?" he teased, straightening out his tunic with a massive hand. All of his Whites were now grey with grime, and he couldn't help but feel like a trainee again. "Let's see We left Kettlesmith two days ago and its almost noon now" Another smile came to Dannyn's lips, he could almost hear the bustle of Haven's streets. They were only a few candlemarks away from the capital of Valdemar.

__

:Exactly, Dannyn. You can go to your warm bed and I can go to Companion's Field. Now, please, stop drooling, a Herald should look professional!: 

Dannyn sighed wistfully, scratching behind his Companion's ears as he gazed ahead, awaiting the sight of Haven to unfold before him._:I wonder sometimes, Trev, why do I put up with you?:_ He asked dramatically, taking his hand from his Companion's ears to touch his chest. _:You wound me.:_

Treyvin shook his head, letting out what could only be called a chuckle. He never tired of the banter shared between him and his Chosen. _:You could never live wi-:_

The Companion froze, his body absolutely still. Hundreds of other Companions clammered in his mind, they were panicked. Something was _definatly _wrong. His mind became fuzzy, there was a gift awakened, a very powerful gift and it was nearby. He could no longer focus, his head drooping in all the confusion. Where was Rolan? His was the only voice he could not hear.

__

:Here, Treyvin. Take your Herald and find the child. She will be Chosen. Kaea has just left for her.: All the other Companions went silent as their leader spoke up, and the silence afterwards was a blessing in comparison to the clammer of before. _:Protect the girl until Kaea arrives. We are unsure of her mental state.:_

Suddenly Treyvin understood. He had wondered why they would send a Herald and Companion to guard the girl when her Companion was on the way. Now it made sense, if the girl was not wholly sane, they would have to guard her from herself and others around her. It was their job to keep the would-be-Chosen alive.

__

:TREYVIN!: Dannyn Shouted, his mind-voice filled with panic. _:Treyvin! What the _hell _is going on! You blocked me out! Trey-:_ Immediately Treyvin flooded his Chosen's mind with all that happened in those short moments, he had no time to explain. Without another word he bolted off the road and off to the west before Herald Dannyn even had a chance to blink.


	3. Chapter Two: Searching for Forgiveness

Alsea whimpered, curling into a ball as she began to wake. Slowly she cracked open one swollen eyelid, peering out through her damp curls. All se could see was snow piled everywhere, covering everything but her. She blinked, slowly pushing herself up and glancing around. How had she gotten here? Alsea sniffed, a single tear slipping down her cheek. She was alone, utterly alone. "Where am I" she breathed, hugging herself and rocking back and forth in the snow. "What am I doing here?"

Biting her lip to resist going into hysterics she attempted to rise immediately falling back down to the ground. Repeatedly she tried, but always her weak knees caused her to collapse. Tears scalded her frozen cheeks. She was going to die, and she was going to die _alone._

She had been abandoned by the one person she loved most. _I hate you, _Alsea raged internally, _I hate you, I hate you! _Her blind rage would not allow her to stay still for long. Slowly, she forced herself to rise once again, raw emotion giving her the strength to stand. "You left me," she hissed as she stumbled along, dragging her feet through the snow. "How _dare _you leave me!"

Her foot caught on something, sending her sprawling face first into the white powder. Alsea's fiery vehemence immediately burnt out. Helpless, hopelessly, she began to weep. Her fists pounding at the ground beneath her. It wasn't fair, nothing was fair. Why had her Father left her here? Where had he gone? What had _happened?_

After several minutes of mind-numbing tears she raised her head, glancing behind her to find out what had caught her foot. Within seconds all the blood left her already pale face. An icey blue hand reached out from the snow, her father's wedding band on the ring finger. "No" she breathed, trying so hard to mourn for the dead man, but there were simply no more tears left. "I should have known better, Daddy. I'm sorry I should have known you'd never leave me. Pease, please," she croaked, her voice raw with the tears that just would not come, "Please don't be angry with me, Daddy."

All the memories, all the horrors of the night before filled her mind, and all she could see were the drooling change-beast

With a shudder she threw herself away from the frozen hand, dry-heaving into the snow. "I should be dead," she moaned, dragging herself away on her hands and knees, "Oh, why am I not dead?"

----------

"Must keep on moving," Alsea whispered, pulling her cloak tighter about herself as she blindly stumbled forward, the never-ending whiteness hindering her vision. "I have to do as Father said" She shivered, all her clothes were soaked through and packed in innumerable places with snow. Alsea was dying, and she was blithely unaware. " I have to reach Haven."

Unnatural determination goaded Alsea on, and she could always hear her father's voice in her head, continually repeating " Run as far as Haven if you must just _do not look back!" _She would go, she would continue on to Haven if it killed her. She would do as her father had said, as an apology for believing he had left her. 

Snow continually slapped her in the face, almost yelling at her to stop and go back. Telling her that she was not worthy to redeem herself. Alsea would not stop, she _would _prove to her father that she was worthy. She would see him again, and he would thank her for trying so hard. "I'm coming, Daddy!" she shouted, urging more speed into her every step. "Just wait for me! I can do it! You'll see!"

----------

"Treyvin, we have to stop! This is sheer madness, running about in a bloody _blizzard!_" Dannyn shouted, immediately ducking his head back into his collar. The glorious sunshine hadn't lasted longer than a few hours, and soon enough they were being attacked on all sides by snow. Dannyn _hated _ snow.

The Companion ignored his Herald, forcing himself forward, all senses, magical or not, at full alert as he searched for "The Girl." Dannyn would just have to deal with it.

Dannyn let out a long, suffering sigh. Gently, he Touched Treyvin's mind, pleading with him. _:Trev, we _have _to stop. We will be of no use to The Girl if we turn into frozen stumps. We have to find shelter, and soon.:_ Treyvin would not respond. Dannyn bit his lip, putting more urgence into his mind-voice. _:Please, Treyvin. I I'm worried about you.:_

Treyvin halted, turning his head to gaze back at his Chosen. As much as he hated to admit it, Dannyn was right. They would be of no use to the poor child if their minds were numb from lack of sleep, and even less use if they were dead. Slowly, hesitantly, he nodded his head, turning north-east to a cave they had passed recently. _:You are right, Chosen. We must rest.:_

A flood of relief and a simple 'thank you' was Dannyn's response. Soon enough they could rest, then find the child, _then _they could return to Haven. _Oh, blessed Agnira I hope so. I am so tired of all this traveling_

Treyvin snorted, tossing his head. _:Once again you are whining! _Who _is doing all the work here, might I ask? Not you! You just sit on your mighty rump all day and watch as I do the walking.:_

Dannyn smiled softly as he patted his Companion's side with a gloved hand. _:Indeed, little one. You deserve much better than an ungrateful whelp like me.:_ His smile broadened as he received a 'mental hug' from Trev. He suddenly felt so much warmer, despite the snow that mercilessly beat at them.

__

:I am sorry I worried you, Chosen. I didn't mean it.: Treyvin stammered, and the Herald could Sense a mental blush coming from the Companion.

A glimmer came to Dannyn's eye as he saw the vague shadow of the cave begin to form in front of them. _:You worry too much, Treyvin. We'll find the girl, and Kaea will Choose her. All will be well.:_

:I certainly hope so:


	4. Chapter Three: Retreating Darkness

__

:This is never going to end. I am going to be moshing through the snow for the rest of my sad little life.: Dannyn scowled, his body feeling as if it was frozen solid. Being a Herald he was used to such dismal conditions, but it didn't mean he had to _like _it. With a shiver he buried his nose further into his cloak's collar, muttering several curses under his breath. His mood had been steadily worsening throughout the morning, especially after Treyvin had blocked him out. The Companion was so whole-heartedly focused on finding the girl, it shamed Dannyn. Truly, the child must be far worse off than they.

__

:Finally you begin to get it, Chosen.: Treyvin drawled, stopping for a brief moment to shake some of the snow from his mane. _:If _you _are miserable, can you imagine how she's feeling?:_ Dannyn could hear the accusation, and he knew Trev was right. The girl's chances of survival were slim to none. The only reason they knew she was alive was through Kaea, even before she had reached her Chosen; they had a 'connection' that led Companion to would-be-Herald.

__

:Dannyn! I Sense something. Use your Empathy to search for the girl, she's broadcasting!: the Companion 'shouted,' accelerating his canter into an all out gallop. Dannyn did as he was told, lowering his shields to search for the child. His mind spreading out over every hill, in every cave, across every plain within his reach.

The Herald shook his head, he couldn't find her. "Trey, I can't seem to get a lock on he-" Without warning, a tidal wave of pain, confusion and utter desolation washed over him, smashing the air out of his lungs. Dannyn gasped, barely able to breathe as he slammed his shields back up. The girl was sane, barely, and frighteningly determined. _:Trey! She's. north of here! She's heading to Haven!:_

Without so much as another word the Companion slightly altered his direction, from northwest to north. If Dannyn could Sense the girl with his weak Gift of Empathy, she must be close. Relentlessly they plowed through the snow, a blue and white blur as Treyvin flew across the terrain.

__

:Kaea! How have you been dealing with this? That girl is nearly mad, and I cant bear to think of how hard it will be for you to bring her back.: Treyvin cried, nimbly leaping over a small, frozen creek. His mind was buzzing with the child's emotions and thoughts. Not only was she broadcasting Empathetically, but with Mindspeech as well.

The female Companion barely responded, just sending a flood of worry to Treyvin. _:Protect her, Trev, I am coming as fast as I can. I wont be much longer than a few candlemarks.:_ With those few words, Kaea withdrew into herself, focusing all her energies towards reaching the girl that would be her Chosen, if she lived long enough.

----------

"I'm tired" Alsea mumbled, all feeling seeping out of her body. Her head began to droop and her eyelids sagged. Even she knew she could not stand without rest for much longer. With a soft whimper she flopped down into the snow, raising her head up to the sky, as if asking for forgiveness. "I need to rest now, Daddy. Ok? I'm too tired to reach Haven now." With a yawn she stretched, arching like a cat. Exhaustion weighed heavily on her shoulders and with another, smaller, yawn she curled into a little ball. A cocoon of blackness welcomed her, enveloping her, protecting her from all the horrors and betrayals of the light. Alsea could rest in peace, protected by the darkness.

All sounds began to blur into each other, the soft little 'piff' sound of the snow falling on snow, the howling of the wind and the faint shouts in the distance. None of it mattered, all that mattered now was that she get her rest, and continue onto Haven in the morning. She would make her Daddy proud.

"NO! No! Just hold on! Don't fall asleep!"

The outside world could wait until she had had her nap.

----------

"NO! No! Just hold on! Don't fall asleep!" Herald Dannyn screamed, diving off his Companion and blundered through the snow. He couldn't let the girl die, not like this. "Please! Just a few more minutes! Don't sleep!" Losing all that was left of his grace and dignity, he fell, sprawled in the snow. With a muffled swear he pushed himself back up onto his knees, dragging himself forward to the still body of Alsea. "C'mon, child, you're so close to something than this. You _have _to wake up!" Gently Treyvin came up behind his Chosen, nuzzling him briefly before turning to the girl.

Dropping to his knees the Companion curled around the small child, doing his best to keep her warm with his own body heat. _:Dannyn, in the saddlebags. Get your bedroll from the saddlebags.:_ Treyvin ordering softly, his pale sapphire eyes watching his Chosen solemnly. _:She may yet live, Chosen.:_

The Herald nodded, biting his lip and getting himself firmly under control. He could not allow himself to slip, there was a life on the line. Rising he moved to Treyvin's side, digging into the saddlebags to retrieve his bedroll. Carefully, he lifted her up, blanching at how cold she was to the touch, and placed her inside the bedroll; making sure to keep her close to his Companion. "Poor thing," he breathed, ignoring the tear that slipped down his cheek. "She's so young. She doesn't deserve to die like this."

__

:Kaea will be here before dawn. If the child lives until then she should _live.: _Treyvin's mindvoice was bland, and Dannyn knew he was hiding his emotions in an attempt to make him feel better. The Herald smiled softly and pressed his cheek up against that of his Companion's, before rising to search for something that could be used as some form of shelter.

-----------

The blackness was warm. There was no sadness here, and Alsea need not have to worry about a thing anymore. She was happy.

__

:No, Chosen. This is not happiness. I can give you true happiness, but you will have to leave the darkness. Will you leave the darkness for me, Alsea?:

Alsea whimpered, covering her eyes as the bright figure invaded her darkness. _:NO!: _she shrieked, pain came with the light, she did not want to live in the light anymore. _:NO! Leave me be! You've come to hurt me! GO AWAY!:_ Crystalline tears streamed down her cheeks as she glared at the bright lady before her. She would not leave the protection of the darkness.

__

:My Chosen, my Alsea. I could never ever _hurt you. You are my Chosen, I need you. I will protect you from betrayal. I will ward off all the pain. Will you not come with me, Alsea?: _The woman whispered, holding out a hand to Alsea. The chiild blinked as the figure's shape began to flicker, changing between that of a horse and a woman. The darkness around her was slowly beginning to turn grey.

__

:Will you take me to Haven?: She whispered, hesitantly placing her hand in the palm of the bright lady's hand. Her wide violet eyes stared up at the brilliant sapphire of the woman's, she saw only kindness in those deep blue depths. _:I had promised that I would go to Haven.:_

A gentle chuckle escaped the lady as she embraced the child, a embrace that held many wordless promises of love. _:I am Kaea. You are my Chosen, Alsea. I will take you to Haven.:_


	5. Chapter Four: Herald-Mage

To Amy Lee - I considered your suggestion for about 10 minutes before reluctantly agreeing. I was unsure of what minor gifts I wanted to give her, but in the end I probably gave her more than I should have. Thank you for both the review and the suggestion.

To.. everyone - All right, all right, please, forgive me. I've been staring at this story for like a month and I have been completely unable to continue it with Alsea as a Herald-Mage-healer whatever. To be a Herald she might be in some situatiosn where people are going to be killed, either by her, or people around her. If she was a Healer.. She couldn't kill people. It just doesn't click. Anyway, now that I've made the appropriate alterations to this, the story will continue although I've now lost my "creative edge" and most of my readers. *****scowl*

----------

Alsea stirred, crinkling up her nose distastefully. It was _far _too bright for anyone's good. With an inaudible groan she rolled over, burying her face deep into her pillow. They were being so loud! Why would they not let her rest in peace?

A gentle chuckle drew Alsea even further from the comforting rest of sleep. It was so familiar, so reassuring _:Chosen, you have had plenty of rest. Wont you wake for the nice people? They have been very worried about you, Alsea.: _the voice, no, Kaea, the Companion, whispered into her mind. Alsea blinked, slowly, deliberately, staring at her surroundings. How had she gotten here? _:Simple enough. I worked through you to put you into a Healing trance, using your own Gift. That was a week ago. You have been in the House of Healing for the past five days.:_

Alsea closed her eyes, a fierce throbbing shooting through her temples as she attempted to remember what had happened a week ago. No matter how hard she tried, she could not focus on it. _:Kaea using my own Gift?:_ she asked shyly, more than a little lost. She had a _Gift? _It all seemed so impossible, but she was talking to a horse in her head. Was _anything _impossible anymore?

Kaea snorted at her. _:I am _not _ a horse, thank you, but a Companion. Your Companion. Alsea, you're going to be a Herald! And a Herald-Mage at that.:_ the Companion exclaimed, her pride bursting through every word she 'spoke.' Unfortunately, in her excitement, Kaea seemed to miss the point in explaining all these things to the poor bewildered girl she had Chosen.

"Oh! She's awake!" a new, female, voice cried, thankfully, _not _in Alsea's head, the sound of feet signaling her swift approach. Alsea blinked as small but strong hands "helped" her up from her resting-place on the bed into a sitting position. "Careful now, child. There we go." The small woman in green beamed and finally Alsea managed to drag her eyes up to look the unknown femme in the face. The woman had deep red-brown hair, threaded thinly with grey, cut just below her chin, her eyes the same brown as her hair and almond shaped. Her skin a very light shade of olive. She wasn't a particularly memorable woman, but something told Alsea that she didn't need to be.

"Who are you?" Alsea whispered, her hands shaking as she clutched the faint green blanket. Her eyes turned accusingly to the people in white at the door, then flickered back to the strange woman. "What are you doing here? What _is _here?" her voice rose with every word she uttered, a thread of panic worming its way into her tone. Alsea sniffed as a little tear slipped down her cheek. What had happened? And why couldn't she remember anything?

The woman in green bit her lip and gently brushed away Alsea's salty tears. "Oh, forgive us, child. I am Healer Tienne and those two by the door are Herald Dannyn and Herald Talia." The woman, Tienne as she had called herself, winked. "You'll be seeing many of their kind in the future, I guarantee it."

Alsea blinked, watching the Heralds with unending fascination. The man seemed to be feeling a little awkward, but the woman was completely calm. "Heralds? Am am I in Haven? Did I really make it!" she cried, grabbing Tienne's hand, her eyes bright with unshed tears of joy.

Talia stepped forward, careful not to startle the child on the bed. "Alsea, do you remember _why _you wanted to come to Haven?" the lady-Herald asked quietly, her eyes acutely watching Alsea for any reaction. Alsea was barely sane when she was found, and the Heralds were loathe to set her off.

"I-I my Da-"

__

PAIN

Alsea shrieked, her hands shooting up to hold her head as shocks of pain bolted through her mind. The agony was unbearable. _:You promised! You promised that there would be no more pain!:_ Alsea howled at her Companion, her eyes wide as she stared up at the ceiling, seeing but not seeing at all. _:You promised me, Kaea! Make the pain _stop!:

__

:Herald! She has tied all her memories of before in with the pain of her channels being blown open! Everytime she thinks of anything _ before she was Chosen _this _happens!:_

:I understand, Kaea! But how do we stop _it?: _ It was a male that time, and unfamiliar, but Alsea didn't care about them. All that she could think of was the pain.

And then, just as fast as it came, the pain was gone, but Alsea was cold, and very, very wet. "Blessed Mother!" she gasped, fighting to fill her empty lungs. Her eyes shot up to the calm Healer and the two blanched Heralds. "I-what?"

Tienne held up a bucket. "Cold water. Always works."

Talia stared, first at the Healer, then at Alsea. She swallowed, attempting to rid herself of the giant lump in her throat as she flushed a bright pink, her fury with herself so blatant that even Alsea could Sense it. "Alsea oh, you poor girl. I didn't mean-"

__

"Enough!" Dannyn snapped, finally speaking up. "Talia, breathe woman. You didn't know." He turned to Alsea, a small little smile on his features. "Do you think you can answer the easy questions now, youngling?"

Alsea could only nod, her mind whirling in all the confusion.

"Your name?"

"Alsea, sir."

"No last name? Interesting Age?"

"Eleven, sir."

"Where were you born?"

"On Lake Evendim, sir."

"Are you aware that you're going to be a Herald?"

Alsea smiled, reaching out with her mind to the Companion who had Chosen her. "I think I've caught onto that, sir. Especially with Kaea constantly calling me 'Chosen.'" Dannyn chuckled at her response, glancing at Talia before taking a step back and letting the female Herald take control.

"Do you know what _kind _of a Herald you're going to be?" Talia inquired, pulling up a chair. Alsea blinked, carefully recalling the conversation between her and Kaea before the 'incident.'

"I I do, but I'm not exactly sure what it means," she started, her words coming slowly as she chewed on her lip. "Kaea said something about Herald-Mage and... I didn't really understand it all, Miss Herald." Alsea looked up shyly, hoping that she had not disappointed the figures looming above her.

"I shall explain for you then," Talia smiled approvingly at Alsea. The girl was responding better than she had hoped. As long as no one mentioned anything about her old life, further 'incidents' could be avoided. "You have one major Gift, and several little ones, Alsea. Your major one is the Mage Gift, which gives you the title Herald-Mage. You are one of the first few trainees to come in with the Mage-Gift since Herald Elspeth returned."

Dannyn stepped forward again, kneeling down between Talia and Healer Etienne. "Your minor gifts consist of Empathy, Healing, and a twinge of Firestarting." He winked at her, a little grin playing on his lips. "Just enough to make sure you never need matches again."

Alsea's jaw gaped. How could she, such a small and useless child, have gifts such as these? Had the world gone mad? "You're mad. All of you! How could _I _have any of these Gifts? I am just just a simple fisher-girl. I'm not I'm not.. _Important _enough!" she stammered, her words slurring together as she tried to rush them all out at once.

"Oh, nonsense!" Tienne replied flippantly, waving a hand to dismiss all of Alsea's words. "You are a very special girl, Alsea. You are far from simple, youngling, and believe me when I say that _you _will be remembered." She grinned at Alsea before swiftly turning on her heel, sharply ordering the Heralds out of the room. "I mean it now! Scoot! This child has had a _very _ long day and she needs her rest. Close your mouth, Talia, I believe the Queen wants you."

Alsea smiled wearily, watching the brisk Healer order the Heralds out of her room. Sleep was reaching out for her, but not the eternal sleep of before, just a short rest. "I'm going to be remembered" she breathed and fell into unconsciousness.


End file.
